Forget about plastic surgery, Botox, or any of those anti-aging creams on the market today. Apparently, all you need to take 6 years off your age is a spritz of pink grapefruit or so says a 2005 study by Chicago’s Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation . Before you go making a mad dash for the produce aisle of the grocery store, let’s take a closer look at the study. Middle-aged women were “smeared” with scents including pumpkin pie, spearmint, cucumber, broccoli, banana, lavender, and pink grapefruit while male participants were asked to guess their age. The only scent that had a noticeable effect on male perception of a woman’s age was pink grapefruit. Interestingly, when the tables were turned, scent had no effect on a woman’s perception of a man’s age. If women are biologically programmed to be able to smell a dirty diaper long before it’s fully “ripe,” perhaps our sense of smell works differently? Or, perhaps we’re not so easily fooled.
Either way, after hearing about this study, I began to understand why I’ve seen so many grapefruit-scented products on the market in recent years. They are everywhere: body lotion, perfume, liquid hand soap, lip gloss; I could go on and on. The study didn’t say that we would look younger if we doused ourselves with pink grapefruit scent, only that we would be perceived by men as being younger. I believe that the Beauty Industry is playing games with us once again, feeding off of the insecurities many women have about our age and how we are perceived by others. This is how most beauty products are marketed to us, and it starts at a very young age. If we didn’t have these insecurities in the first place, companies would have to change their marketing strategies; it would be an advertising revolution bigger than Dove’s “Campaign for Real Beauty.” The real issue seems to be: why do we care so much about what others think of us in the first place?
Disclaimer: If you’re one of those people who loves to wear pink grapefruit scent because YOU love it, go ahead, knock yourself out! If you’re a beauty junkie (like I am) and get excited about a new eyeshadow palette the way a 4-year old gets excited about a new box of crayons, so be it. If you smear and slather creams, serums, lotions, and potions because you like the way your skin looks afterwards, that’s great. What I’m saying here is that using products is not necessarily a questionable thing; however, your motivation for using these products just might be.
In her book, “Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live,” author, life coach, (and my life coaching trainer) Martha Beck discusses what psychologists call “the generalized other” or, who Martha refers to as “Everybody.” As it turns out, everyone has an “Everybody”– an amalgamation of the opinons of a few nay-sayers stored in our brains that we allow to guide our thoughts. It’s a sort of built-in approval seeking and self-protection mechanism. Teenagers seem to have the volume on their “Everybody” turned up full-blast. For example, a certain middle schooler may try to talk her parents into getting her a cell phone saying, “Everybody has one, Mom!” but when you ask her to name “Everybody” who has a cell phone, you may find out she can only name a handful of people. Unfortunately, we don’t leave our “Everybody” behind with our youth. You might try to talk yourself into buying a new anti-aging product because you are convinced that “Everybody” has been staring at the microscopic age spot on your cheek. The cool thing is that while your brain built this “Everybody” made up of those who might not have your best interests at heart, you can rebuild your team and recreate a whole new “Everybody”–sort of like your own personal fan club. The new “Everybody” you create is a very powerful weapon in the battle against low self-esteem because “Everybody” in your fan club loves you and thinks you are the best thing to come along since sliced bread.
Martha goes into detail in “North Star” about how to explore and recreate your “Everybody.” She suggests that good way to start is to think of people that encourage and support you no matter what: this is your fan club and the “Everybody” you want in your corner. Put pictures of them in a place where you’ll see them every day as a reminder of how awesome they think you are. If you have written proof of your awesomeness such as emails, notes, or cards from these people, include them with your pictures. Every time you hear your old “Everybody” rear its ugly head, picture your new “Everybody” drowning them out with their cheers.
I see a revolution on the horizon: one in which girls and women, armed with a healthy dose of self-esteem and a powerful team of “Everybody” transform the world and redefine what it means to be beautiful. No longer prisoners of the Media and Corporate America, which have made a tremendous amount of money preying on our fears and self-doubt, we buy products on our own terms and dictate how they are sold to us. Idealistic? Maybe. Possible? You bet. Each of us has the power within ourselves to start the revolution. And the sweet smell of success? I’d be willing to bet it’s not grapefruit-scented.
