CHANGE YOUR TUNE ROCK YOUR LIFE

It’s on! I’m fully outing myself today: I am a Bon Jovi fanatic. (Ok, maybe that won’t come as a surprise to some  most of you). This post will be best read with the volume on your speakers cranked. I’ll wait here while you take care of that.

For me, it all started with  skin-tight purple leather pants and bigger-than-life hair in Runaway. I was a small town teenager who’d never seen anything like that–or HIM– before. It didn’t matter what Jon Bon Jovi was singing, I was mesmerized. I was young, carefree, and Wild in the Streets. Flash forward to 1992: I was a graduate student working with a profoundly hearing impaired toddler who had just received a cochlear implant, allowing her to hear sound for the first time in her tiny life. I introduced her to music by playing Bed of Roses and watched in amazement as her little body rocked from side to side. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.  Then Jon Bon Jovi did the unthinkable: he cut his hair and traded in his spandex for flannel, putting the final nail in the coffin of Hair Bands while Grunge ruled the music scene.  Even Something For the Pain couldn’t sway me. I packed away my Tico Torres drumstick and Slippery When Wet guitar pick and “grew up”–getting married, going to work, and starting a family.

It’s funny how the things you dream about having aren’t always such a dream once you have them. I was a worn-out  and worn-down soul when I returned to work after having my second child. She had been born with a life-threatening condition that required surgery when she was three months old, and I had a toddler to boot.  The only Bon Jovi I was singing was my lullaby version of Born To Be My Baby as in “You were born to be my baby and I was made to be your mom.” It’s amazing what you do when you’re sleep-deprived and trying to make sense of why your baby has to struggle with every breath she takes.  While I was on leave, a new employee had been hired at the university lab I worked in. I was relieved to find out she was also a mom, someone who would understand what I was going through. Every morning I watched her come in, sit down at her computer and play the song that started her day: It’s My Life. She would sing and rock out–smiling from ear-to-ear the whole time– and I couldn’t help but join in. It became our morning ritual and my personal anthem. Heather, Jon, Richie, Tico, and David reminded me of all the FUN that was still there waiting for me–patiently. Heather and I became instant friends and partners in Bon Jovi-related crime. One day I casually mentioned to her that if Bon Jovi ever went on tour again, I’d go with her because I had never seen them live. Little did I know that one seemingly innocent comment would change my life so completely. Truth-be-told, it ROCKED it. Hard core.

I had been to my fair share of concerts (Rolling Stones, Metallica, Motley Crue, and some I’d rather not mention) but I had never ever seen or FELT anything like I did during my first Bon Jovi concert. We were in the nosebleed section in the back of the stadium and yet somehow Jon Bon Jovi managed to reach right out to me and pull me in. (I have since come to learn that he is THE master at the art of seducing a sold-out arena). I knew every word of every song and it reminded me that the good times hadn’t died–they’d just been dormant and were getting an ear-piercing wake-up call. I was up on my feet and dancing right along with him for the entire three hours. (It’s where Heather would tell you that I first perfected my “shoulder shimmy.” ) Whatever it was that I felt at the concert, I knew I wanted more of it. Luckily for me, they added another concert stop in my hometown a few months later and I landed seats right next to the stage.  O-M-G–Let me just say that when you are able to make eye contact with Jon (and Richie) it is like (as my friend Sarah puts it) “snorting rocket fuel.” And bless me father for I have sinned but it’s better than church! I would love to show you shots I tried to film while I was under the influence of Bon Jovi, but unfortunately they are sideways and there is a lot of screaming HOLLARING (mostly mine) in the background.  I am also being reminded to mention that before I embarrass every single member of my family (who will tell me about it later), this isn’t a throw-your-panties-on-the-stage mid-life crisis you are witnessing (although if that floats your boat, I’m not stoppin’ you). Rather, it’s an AWAKENING: I reconnected with the core of who I am and what makes me happy. That, to me, my friends, is the meaning of life. At least my life. And It’s My Life, or hadn’t you heard? Are you ready to snort some rocket fuel? Click here.

I could end the story there on a high note but I won’t. It would be like only telling half the story. What happened next was even bigger and better. Over the course of the next 10 years, Heather and I rocked just about every Bon Jovi concert within a 100-mile radius of home (with the exception of a few that neither of us wants to be reminded that we missed). During those 10 years, both of us had more ups and downs in our lives than a Six Flags rollercoaster. What held me up when I didn’t think I could stand any more were Bon Jovi songs, especially the newer releases from Have A Nice Day, Lost Highway, and The Circle. Somewhere along the road Jon and Richie grew up too, and started writing songs that reflect problems that all of us can relate to: daily life struggles, failed relationships, losing a loved one, and coming home to yourself. I refer to it as “Zen Jovi.” They were like my personal life coaches during a very tumultuous time in my life and if I ever had the opportunity to meet them (and I was able to speak), I’d say “thank you.” I also owe a big debt of thanks to my fabulous, fist-pumping friend Heather, who opened the doors for me–actually blew them wide open–that allowed me to open my heart up to a whole lot more living.

Now it’s my time to pay it forward. My mission is to make life coaching feel like a Bon Jovi concert. I promise I won’t sing to you, but I will help you tune in to the songs that are playing in your heart. Just as my life has gone through a major transformation, so is my coaching business. My new motto: Change your tune, rock your life. If your “rock” looks more like Martina McBride/Lady Gaga/Jay-Z/Sevendust/Insert-your-favorite-here than Bon Jovi, bring it! I’m ready for you! Oh, and I’ve thrown out all the rules, except one. Find out about it here:

*PS–If you didn’t get enough Bon Jovi here, please join me and fellow Martha Beck-certified coach Sarah Bamford Seidelmann (code name: Rocket Fuel) to talk about all things life, love, and Bon Jovi Thursday, May 19 at 10 AM Pacific, 12 PM Central and 1 Eastern at www.blogtalkradio.com/yoursong